PPS

is one of the greatest place on earth.

no doubt. it has helped launch all the ’so-called great’ bloggers in Malaysia. so much so that i see it as a kacang lupakan kulit situation… but whatever lar… you happy, i happy, heck care lar.

PPS is oso the place, where ppl witness the birth of new bloggers. some never made it, some began to gain the ’so-called great’ blogger status.

PPS oso basically reflects on the blogging nature of Msian bloggers… you’ll see a lot of rubbish bloggers, and at the same time, some small gems now and then. and then, you’ll see opportunists (like me right? right? right? whatever…)

PPS has changed face, and right now, it has incorporated many functions and features… but most of the time, me, personally, only go for the pinging feature, and that’s about it… is it a waste of resources then? not exactly. at least i know that those functions are there and i appreciate the options.

right now, i don’t see anything major happening in msian blogosphere, and it’s reflected in PPS. i can skim through and close PPS after 10 sec of browsing…

so what’s becoming of PPS? personally ar, i have my theory, but no lar, not gonna share it publicly as i think it will certainly make many bloggers and blog-readers angry…

ok… that’s what running to my mind. when PPS is mentioned, i think of this word: pity.

job

i might finally be able to change job

cross my finger

wish me luck!

jam

at subang tonight is explanatory. and it’s stupid.

since it’s been raining in the evening nowadays, quite natural lar to assume that the road will be jammed. furthermore, i’ll be using Federal Highway, notoriously known to jam up for no apparent reason.

and then ar… when reach the turning into subang, it got really bad, so bad that i detour-ed here and there and it seemed to be jam everywhere in subang leading towards USJ side. i finally decided to just go along with the jam, and finally, i reached the junction with the broken traffic lights. and then, it became apparent. the road was dug in order to repair the traffic lights. i just can believe it that these people cannot use their common sense when repairing road…

since the evening will be damned full of cars using that stretch of road, why oh why do they have to do the repair then. i’m sure they thought they needed some calculated time, but i’m sure they did not take into account that there might be a downpour, which i believed happened.

Damn stupid.

oh yea

i think i wrote before that i don’t think i have a face that portrays trust.

it’s so unfortunate, for one thing, i treasure truth and i believe in people very easily. and in return, i give my trust out very easily.

but over the course of my life, i’ve been betrayed so many times, that i’ve become paranoid.

can u imagine now, hwo difficult it is to lead my life? i trust people to easily, but at the same time, i’m all paranoid…

i’ve been told, that perhaps i should ‘restrain’ myself more, than i won’t be paranoid. that is a better solution compared to choosing to be naive and continue trusting…

but it’s just so difficult, for it’s in my nature to believe in the goodness of people. if a salesman comes to me and tell me they have a good offer, i’ll grab it easily; though the offer is nothing to shout about.

if i’m to be that salesman, i’m sure i’ll do horribly bad; for i don’t have the look that says that i’m trustworthy. i am, but i don’t look like one.

and yes, it bugs me. it bugs me alot.
very close and rare few, see me with closed eyes, and able to see my heart, and these people, i’ve treasured alot, and i noe that they noe that i treasure them. coz we have been ups and downs, but we remain close. i really dunno what to do without them…

but with new friends, i’m dead. people talk to me at a platonic level. i don’t need such lips service…

what can i do? i’ll just drink my sorrow away…

i discovered stout

so i finally reached for stout

i’ve put off that idea for quite some time, but i finally decided to take in stout for one simple reason: for higher alcohol content for a fraction of additional of a few cents.

it was not easy to take at first, but i’m getting used to it.

right now, i’m gulping in 50% stout, 50% beer, and all adds to a larger belly.

oh well, must hit the gym more days then.

DYK: i like CSI, CSI: New York, CSI: Miami… Preference in that order…

Damnit job search

I’ve been with my current job for quite some time, and I think ar, it’s time to move on. I don’t want to be too comfortable, coz it will make the leaving and moving on even more difficult. I’m still young (yes, I am) and I don’t want to be tied down.

So I look through the classified, and did online job search. Damnit those employers. They think what ar?

Take for example, there’s one asking for candidates who have all sorts of skills, and be all-linguistic, and must possess car, but the pay is well below $2k… Damnit. What kind of job ad is that? Asking for kuli ar? Msg to such boss: Hey! you might get applicants, but know this: Your employee won’t stay for long wan lar. No matter how good u treat ar, it’s still comes down to the $$ offered, and all the benefits. Ppl will leave when they see better offer.

And then, there are those super specific jobs, with all those abbrv. GKA qualification lar, ZAS certified, and so forth… You don’t know that two? It’s ok… I invented them, but it’s as good as those you see in those job postings…

WTF!

Think I’ll die looking for a new job.

DY: How young am I? I’m below 30…

think about it… Donald Trump’s not making much sense

isn’t it, when he says: You’re fired.

Think about it. He mentioned before, those candidates are actually on weeks-long interview, where they are given tasks to handle. So… if they leave the show due to whatever reason, it basically means, they didn’t make the cut to take up the position that D.Trump is offering, i.e. they didn’t pass the interview round. By right, these candidates didn’t get the job offer. So how can someone be fired, if they didn’t have the job in the first place?

So stupid. The producer must have thought that that is a nice tagline to go with the show…

oh damnit

some times, you just make the mistake of consoling at the wrong person.

it’s gonna be heartbreaking, but live to learn

live to learn

learn to live

learn

and live on

and don’t repeat the same mistake.

you repeat the same mistake, you are a fool yourself.

actually…

i dunno why i log in here now.

i’ve nothing much to say actually… except, yea, drinking tonight. it’s a friday night, or rather, saturday morning…

yup… nothing to write. ok ok, i’ll provide a DYK fact.

DYK: I’m a virgin male (Shocking?)

oh yea… i’m revengeful

oh yea… i am.

there’s a degree actually… so don’t worry, those stranger who blasted my personality, you are safe, for i don’t know you, and you don’t know me.

i’m referring to ppl who knows me, and ppl that I know.

Now, I’m hatching a long term plan, which, yes, those ppl who has made me suffer will suffer… and I know, I’ll suffer still coz I know these ppl will suffer for the rest of their lives.

Yes, I am revengeful, and no one, including myself can change that.

I’ve turned evil… nope, not true. I’ve always been that evil ever since.

But don’t worry, if you know me, and you haven’t turned that evil button on, you won’t get it from me.
But for those who did, let me tell you this: It’s not that easy to just ignore me. I’ll haunt you, and I’ll haunt you bad.

Good night, and good luck.

p.s. those who dunno me, really makes you think thrice before wanna find out who I am now huh? Don’t worry, if you treat me good, I’ll treat you better. That’s a promise. The matter is those who treat me bad, think that I’m stupid, think that I’m an asshole….

just awhile after…

the previous post, someone come by and told me along the line that I deserve it. damnit. i ask that asshole what’s meant.

That asshole told me, by reading all those previous entries, I’m an bitter and terrible asshole.

Crap lar.

Know this. Online personality and real life personality can be different. And in my case, it’s so different, that if you are able to indentify me in real person, I’ll let you poke my backside ok?!

Damnit. Yes, I may be angry, I may be bitter here an write it all out. But let me tell you, I’m putting up my naked soul up for people to read, my writing for people to criticize, fine, but don’t judge me. You wanna say I use too much fucked-up words. Fine. You tell me what I write is fucked-up, alright. You tell me I’m full of fucked-up idea, still ok. But you tell me I’m a fucked-up, you go fuck yourself lar using a whale penis.

At least, I’m frank in my writings here. I’ve seen so many blogs that I dispise. I don’t dispise the person, but his/ her blog. But it’s just so sad that some people cannot different that. For example, like what kennysia say, all those bimbo blogs. Damnit… I hate reading them, but me like kenny, still visit those blogs once a while- what to do? I’m oso a guy. Then all those blogs that feature entries that say all the nice things, or sympathetic things, self-pity. Mine, I’m not going that direction hor, coz I write here, I don’t care if there’s any respond wan hor. But got some ppl that I know, like will die wan if no one comment on their blog. And comments on my blog, some times, I reply simply because it’s a courteous thing to do.

Damnit. what’s your problem? Me right?
Hmm, after saying that, I don’t care anymore what’s your problem *I roll eyes and walk away

don’t judge a book by its cover

it’s easier said than done, not sometimes, or on a number of occasion; it’s all the time.

Maybe it’s just me lar… But this is what I always kena. It seems like I have this look ar, which look pretty not trustworthy. I dunno why, but it seems quite hard for me to find good friends nowadays. Good friends are those whom I’ve known since childhood days.

Then I got to know that it seems like I’m not someone that can be trusted. I really don’t know where people get this stupid idea. I’m a secret bin, where my childhood friends know that I can be trusted and can be counted on. But among the so-called newer friends, I don’t know who has been a devil advocate, talking behind my back and so forth.

Damnit.

I curse you till end of my life.

And my approach to friendship is, let’s be open, talk through any doubts. But no lor.. some people just prefer to gossip behind my back. Even when confronted, they can still deny, and say don’t have don’t have. Don’t have my ass lar.

Heck.

I hate liars and devil advocates. They all can burn in hell

it was hardly an entry away…

that i’m not drinking heavily…

sorry angel, sorry jess…

but i simply can’t help it; the heart has taken over the rational mind.

you know, for a guy, what trouble guys most is just 2 things: money and girls. it’s that simple. ask any guy on the street, that’s what you’ll be told… career? well, the root is money.

now…
there’s one more thing that’s always been left out of the equation. It’s both intentionally, and/ or unintentionally, depending on which guy u talk to, and that is: FRIENDSHIP or BROTHERHOOD… you noe lar, the male bonding thingy…. (yup, all you girls can roll your eyes)

but noe this, your guys group of male friends, they are important in some way.. you might not noe it now, in fact, you guy may not noe it now either…

let’s break it down shall we:

there are generally 3 types of guys, in this aspect:

1) those who treasure their male friends.
for girls who are hooked to this kind of guys, you are doomed when you and the guy are in a steady relationship. but then again, you are the luckiest of the lot, for this is the guy who will love you and treasure you, even though this guy need his own space. pls, give it to him… he’ll not love you less. you might think that he’s not paying enough attention to you. but know this, for every moment he spend with his guy friend, he’ll make up for you.
when you two get old, you’ll still be interacting. trust me, whatever you might think, it’s a healthy choice. this type of guy, is considered most ordinary, most easy to keep…

2) those who treasure you more than his friends, or you make them that way.
some guys can change very easily, btw, so if u make your guy to five all the priority to you, they’ll fall into this group. this group of guys, they are the hatred among his friends… he may used to be the popular one, but if he’s in this group, know that at the end of the day, he’ll only have superficial friends, and he’ll know it.
let me give you a scenario: you two got married… after a while, you, a mahjong kaki, told your husband to go look for his friends. at the frist few weeks, it all seems alright; u enjoying your mahjong, and he enjoying his male-companionsip. then after awhile, you realized that he stay home more often, and he often ‘help’ you to cancel your mahjong games, so that you two can speen times together…
you see, after awhile, both oso sien of each other lar, but still, you start to realized that your guy will start sticking on you… even when u tell him it’s alrite to get fucking drunk at cafe watching football match… truth is,he has no true friends to hang out with.

3)those who ditch their friends to be with you, or you make him ditch his friends totally to be with you.
you did not cut any slack for him and well, live with it. he’s gonna be a child again, and you won’t wanna have babies, coz u already have agrown up baby to take care…. you DIE DIE DIE….

ok, i’m babbling away. the gist of it is, do know that your bf has male friends too… let him hang out with them ok? there’s no harm actually…

DYK: The breakup with my last girlfriend lasted for 12 months, and it still scares me…

and i puke…

yesterday night after gulping in all the absolut vodka that i could…

i don’t know why, i drank so much yesterday night. i wasn’t at a party, or was i with any friends. i was all alone and the computer was my companion.

i puked so much, so hard, that my stomach was hurting this morning when i woke up. accessing the ‘damage’, i realized that i posted an entry here- which i’ve deleted; the subject was something that i wanted to yesterday; in fact, when i woke up this morning, i had the intension to post it, only to realize that i’ve done so, and i wrote it in such lousy manner, that i no longer am inspired to -rewrite it… so i simply delete it.

the other damage is, i realized that i’ve finished 1/2 a bottle of absolut vodka. i was already feeling tired and sleepy when i started indulging yesterday night, and that made it much worse. i suppose, the puking was the way my body’d told me that i should stop and in fact let some of the alcohol out of my system coz my body’s ain’t taking it too well. if i would have gone to bed instead, i could have died choking on my own vomit, or died of alcohol poisoning.

yes, it’s a stupid thing that i did, and i still dunno why i did it. perhaps it was all the accumulated sorrow and bitterness that i faced for the past few weeks, which, i would say, i’m just about to start recovering from.

so, just an advice from a no-good-fella here:
if you need to puke, please puke and do your body a favour. but do others a favour too, by not puking on them, and also, clean up after, even if you are still intoxicated (yes, it can be done…)