Archive for December, 2005

i like this post

December 31, 2005

by kcyap.

my respond:
1. yes! I’ve seen girls go around wondering where their purse were. Some are ok- they asked if you’d seen it. Some just pushed you aside, most probably thinking: get out of my way, i’m looking for something

2. i’ve seen the dance, minus the shouting though…

3. this girl really did kick my ass a few times. at first it was ..cute, then it was painful. i turned around and shouted at her: stop it! and i pat on her head…. LOL
who says girls are not strong?

4. Never try to re-apply makeup when you are drunk.

5. Guys drop their cigarette and takes it up and smokes again.

6. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. -see? see? see?
now, got any guys who cry wan ar?

7. girls in particular like to jump and shout tat, whether drunk or not. no?

8. oh yea. a girl i noe told me she once talked to a cook for the whole night.

9. lol…. nvr seen this one happening before.

10. Also, never REALLY Seen this one before…

11. most ppl, girls and guys tend to pass out. normal lar…

12. who doesn’t?

13. i’ve not seen that, but kena yelled at myself coz the drink i brought back to the table doesn’t seem like got the gin. wtf…

14. nope, nvr seen this before…

15. nope, never seen this before either…

16. that’s errrrr…. lucvkily no guys hav peed at the urinal, but in fact peeing at my shoes! he’ll get it for sure, drunk or not…

17. the tighter the better ;)
18. …and on the pavement, by the side of the road, on stairs, flower pot, and so forth…

19. everyone forgets to button up sometimes…

now, i think the worse thing is…for a girl with long hair to puke. it’s worse when there are no one around to help her.

“i got to….” BUEEEEKKKKKKKK!

“oooohhhh…. nnnnooooooo… i got it on my….” BUEEEEKKKKK!

“…top”

“and I got it in my….” BUEKK BUEEEK BUEEEEKKK!

“between my fingers and hair and i can flip my hair and….” BUEEEKKKKK!

“I got it on my face, and it’s running up my nose again… and ….” BUEK NO MORE….

whatever the case, if see a girl sitting alone at the pavement, obviously drunk, go help her…. IN A GOOD WAY. don’t try to pok mong… else u’ll end up with puke on ur shirt, puke on ur car seat, puke in your bed…

just offer her to walk to 7-11 and get her to buy a bottled water herself…. no?

and remember,

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE

new year resolution?

December 31, 2005

resolution? revolution? pollution? action? -tion?

aiya… wtf lar.

how many people actually make resolution and really fulfil it wor? “i’ll lose weight”, but by the end of the year, lost 0.01g also happy. wtf?!? simply didn’t wear any clothings onli when go up the scale izit?

heck resolution lar…

in my life so far, i think onli 3 years, which I made resolution. don’t remember what lar, but this year is/was one of the year that I made resolution. And yup, I didn’t manage to keep it.

so ar… for 2006, i’m not going to make one. i’ll just… live.
that is if i don’t die of liver disorder lar, drunk driving lar, kena knock down aas i aimlessly wonder the busy street lar, and so many other reasons…

for those who made one this coming 2006. please be super-human and fulfil them. i wish you all the best and i toast first for your effort.

talking about effort, i really enjoy reading the papers today, feature those jokers who queue up for their new IC (never see this short form for quite some time liao right since ‘MyKad’ was introduced…)

KNS big time wan lar this people. If I have enough piss, I’ll go to one after another and piss on their leg!

Hey! Come on. You were given 2, dua, two, liong, liang years! to change your IC. And KNS you go and make it 2 days before 2005 comes to an end. What? Very syiok ar like that? Very Malaysian ar like that? If so syiok, then don’t go and scold the officers in charge lar… What? in that 2 years, cannot find one single day to go and change your IC ar? STUUUPPPIIDDD!!!

And I was told, got people actually sold their queue numbers. This case, the buyer lagi stupid lar. You are scum…no, you are the moss that stick the rock that’s used to throw at scum. If I’m not wrong ar, the amount you pay is the same as the amount you kena ‘fined’ if you make your IC next year… wtf

I suppose we Malaysians just love to do last minute everything.

drunk and trying to read

December 29, 2005

i got back from work, and i was fucking bored.

after showering and got myself all comfortable, i decided to go grab some drinks, and that i mean alcoholic ones.

I kept on taking in large gulp as I surf the net. Went to PPS and found nothing interesting… except perhaps shaolintiger’s ang mo breakfast post. make me feel rather hungry… maybe i’ll go to the kitchen later to look for something to munch.

and i kept drinking, and drinking and drinking…

and I can feel the high-ness liao…

and then i decided… maybe i would want to read. reading is good.

i open up one of the many ebooks and read. it’s just so amazing!

when i read something interesting, i feel so happy that i understand. and something technical and requires 2nd round of reading, i got so frust easily. i’m so so emotional.

don’t anyone dare to disturb me if i’m drunk and reading… i’ll kill you if u r irritating. i’ll kiss you if u crack a good damn joke…

happy new year~~~~~~~

My hump… my hump, my hump, my hump…. My lovely lady lumps

December 29, 2005

Of course not about those thing that make u drive slower… but yes, booby booby boobbbiiieees….

Now, question: Anyone ever wonder why Asian girls have ‘considerably smaller boobs’ ? Excluding those that did plastic jobs, ang mo has bigger boobies, and especially Blacks…

Somehow, Asian girls just cannot compete ler… why ar?

I’m not being racist, sexism, whatever -ist here, but this is a mamak topic lor, especially when a super pretty girl pass by, fuiyoh… until, see body….nothing. Cannot nose bleed. My kawan and I have come to that conclusion, but never really know why is it so…

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Okay, before women-folk come pinching ( girls pinch very painful wan ler…) let’s talk about Asian men. The popular belief is that Asian men has smaller dick. Is that true?
Apparently, research shows that are, Asian has the shortest, whereas the Blacks have the longest.

How come ar? How come ar?

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Then how do you exactly measure your dick ar? Dari mana sampai mana?
I reached for the ruler and TRY to measure, but cannot be certain…

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And my measurement is between (WHO DARE TO TAKE A PEEP, YOU BLIND… WHO DARE TO LAUGH, YOUR BLOG WILL BE HACKED ONE DAY… OR YOU’LL BE DOING NAKED EAR-SQUATS ONE DAY!)11.5 to 13 cm… From what I find out, I’m about the average size I think, and that’s okay.

Now, back to boobs…
Is there any way to make boobs bigger, besides going under the knife? Maybe massages? Would certainly help my gf to do such massages…

Or maybe, to make boob smaller, for guys with, errr… man-boobs?

Okay, okay… been drinking and somehow cannot stop thinking about boobs after hearing that hump hump song… and the ruler is just so nearby…

cheerssss!!

p.s. really wan, anyone can answer those questions above?

NKF Singapore

December 27, 2005

I dunno how many people in Msia actually follow the saga down south ar, but if you are curious, then go here.

This is undoubtfully one of the biggest negative event, so much so that I baca somewhere, even the government wants this to be settled first wor before calling for election. Manyak besar punya kes…

I’ve been to Singapore, and I’ve seen NKF in full swing- all those funraising programmes lar, all the reports on their huge reserve lar, and macam macam lagi…

I think, this very incident has set the Spore public back, because… the public felt they have been deceived, somehow. NKF Singapore is afterall, is fundamentally, a charity organisation, and it’s meant to help neeedy ppl, in this case, kidney patients. Previously, the figure was that 52% of what’s donated goes to patient’s care. Personally, I thought that could be higher, i.e. more money to patients…again, afterall, it’s a charity organisation. But maybe NKF Spore has gotten pretty enormous compared to many many charity organisation in Spore, perhaps the cost is higher. I would take it that the bigger the organisation, the more patients it can cater for. And then, KPMG reported that it should be only 10%….

The public is most probably crying WTF lar…

Imagine, if you donate $500 (that’s like more than 1/4 your salary if you are earning $2k [belum minus itu CPF stuff lar]) you are actually helping the needy by giving them $50 ler…

If compare to actually bringing the cash to patient’s home to pass to them ar… It actually cost $450 to travel to the patient’s home, to pass the patient $50. I seriously dunno how I can rack up $450 on ‘travel expenses’ lor. Even if I travel on Spore taxi for a few trips back and forth in a day, won’t spend up to that amount.

Me being a member of the public, basically, wonder lar…
NKF how come not like charity organisation anymore? It seems like the money donated is not exactly going to the very reason of the existing of the organisation.

Tak tahu lar…

For me ar, I’ve never donated to NKF. The reason is that, when NKF got so big ar, I somehow don’t trust it entirely to be efficient to channel my donate efficiently well.

Now, perhaps most of the media is reportedly waiting for the outcome of what-ever-criminal-investigation, but what I think is whatever the outcome, the previous board should just give back the money accordingly. I think it’s a moral issue, somehow, somewhat. I really cannot understand how can anyone live with the fact that whatever one has enjoyed, it’s from donation from ppl who are not-to-do, ppl who have put their unconditional trust that their donation will go well to the needy, ppl who wants to help…

I somehow just feel glad that I didn’t donate, or would ever to NKF ever.

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p.s. having said so ar, if I have the opportunity to help kidney patients, I’ll volunteer at NKF centre, or any other dialysis centre, FOC…

christmas is the time of the year…

December 25, 2005

to break someone’s heart…

apparently, i’ve been breaking ppl’s heart when ’special’ days come around.

i broke up with my girlfriend about 2 days before valentine’s. i broke a girl’s heart a day after Chinese New Year…

And this Christmas, I just broke a girl’s heart- again- whom I told her that I’m not interested.

KNS

She was pretty devastated and instantly, she ddidn’t want to talk to me at the party… She didn’t even bid me goodbye when she left… All the previous freindship tat we’d build, all thrown away to the wastebag…

KNS

And I was driving back, it really makes me think if I should have given the girl a chance. I could have said let’s try, and see if things work out. But then again, I wasn’t interested…

I was driving, and I couldn’t stop flashing at cars in front of me. I just want to get back as fast as I could and sleep, to wake up tomorrow and forget whatever happen.

Oh what a night, what a night indeeed

when you are auntie agony

December 20, 2005

When you are the one who people come to you with problem, truth is, you are the one who hears all that, and that’s all.

It may seems like a good thing, but the actual fact is, your life is full of sobbing stories only, and that’s all.

It’s not those usual rant hor, but all those big big stuff, like break off lar, like if fail exam lar, if lost job lar, and the list go on. Not those cannot find parking lar,laptop kaput lar, don’t know what to buy for bf/gf lar, not all these.

Sure, you know the person better, but the puck stops there. If a girl come to you with a sad sob story about her breaking off with her boyfriend, it’s either, you are a potential candidate, or you are just a big brother. Most of the time, it’s the latter. If a friend come to you about how he’s so afraid to fail his exam that he’ll disappoint his family, you are either his best friend, or you just someone he trust won’t tell anyone… most of the time, it’s the latter, and it’s not because you can keep secret, but you simply has no one else to tell to.

If you fall within this category of being aunt agony, try doing these:

1) Try follow-ups. Your sobbing friend will either sob more, but if he/ she’s okay liao, you’ll get very general answer: I’m ok oledi. I’m fine, thanks for asking. And it ends there. Truth is ar…you are just being annoying for digging up the wound.

2) Try asking about something else. You won’t get much more than a general answer, where you just don’t know how to continue on with the conversation. This does not mean the conversation ends there. An example:

A: I hope you are okay oledi.
B: Yea, feeling better. :) A: Btw, have you watch King Kong?
B: Not yet.
A: Me too, wanna watch this weekend?
B: I cannot le, coz I promise my friend to watch liao.
A: IC…
[some moment of silence]
B: Oh! Did you watch Desperate Housewives yesterday?
A: No ler… Is it good?
B: Yes.
[silent]
B: gtg, ttyl.

See that? See that? That’s the best way to end the conversation. Just gtg lor. Who invented ‘gtg’ btw? So convenient.

If you are in A’s shoes, good luck. You’ll be getting rejection and sad stories. If you are B, you are a lucky person with alot alot alot of friends around who you can pick and choose whom to be nice to. And you’ll most probably be the one with the most problem in the entire universe, including having no friends. (I roll eyes 980 degree…)

3) Try contacting them. They will die when you manage to get them. Either through SMS lar, call lar, ICQ lar, everything lar… Thing is, when the sobbing friend has come to you, he/she’s so ashame of his/herself that he/she doesn’t wanna meet up with you or even talk to you. And to ‘talk’ to you, he/she rather uses MSN lar, ICQ lar, YM lar… you know, so that can just type… somehow.

Is it a sad situation? Oh yes it is. Someone’s at the losing end, and someone else is happy. Is that necessary? Oh yes, what’s there about relationship when someone doesn’t win and someone else doesn’t lose? It’s a cruel cruel world, and deal with it.

How to deal with it? You either:

1) Control it. Control it doesn’t mean confront it. To confront anything is just stupid. You are putting a spotlight on the other, and you just driving the other fella to LIE and away from you. The other fella will tell you things you wanna hear, and that’s all, you won’t get the truth.

2) Live with it. If you are just a lazy fella who leaves it to fate, then you’ll just live with it. It’s perfectly fine with you, but if this the path you take, you’ll just have to…live with it. So so simply.

And now, fuck off as I hate myself and drink off my sorrow…

having a bad hangover

December 20, 2005

yesterday, i was fuming that alcohol’s vapourizing from my pores. and it was a whole day thing. lazy to mention what.

but as a result, i drank and drank and i got drunk.

this morning, came to work, half dead, my the other half’s at some euphoric state. wah piang err…………..

boleh mati!!!!
i must save up my sober self for some christmas and new year hangover. but i think ar, i won’t be going to whatever party thingy this year lar. maybe just a quiet year end celebration. can liao.

2 things

December 19, 2005

1) I was informed that the hustler man is now the cosmo man. wtf. now sipping coffee at New York Starbucks pulak. http://thecosmopolitanman.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_thecosmopolitanman_archive.html

I dunno why, but my image of you ar… like some ah pek at coffee shop wan, with one leg up and eating kuaci and drinking stouts. hahahahaha….

whatever my perception, welcome back. selamat balik. happy to see u well and kicking. the great will prevail.

2) First and foremost, this is not a respond to whatever criticism or bashing or apa-apa u wanna call it lar. and i’m not trying to clear any fart air hor. Call me a fucker, call lor. Call me attention seeker, call lor. If you are a sexy girl, you can even call me on my cell…. ;)
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT………
my online personality here is very the different wan, compared to when I chat with my online friends using my true blue identity. Needless to say, my real person personality is lagi different to the max.

Now, I noe that I’m a likable person in-person, and then I found out some assholic ass is badmouthing behind my back. As a result, I’ve made some ppl unhappy unknowingly. (Here, I heck lar, I write whatever I want, don’t like me, go else and shoot aeroplane). And then, these ppl began to talk behind my back. KNS>>>>> that asshole ar, how I wish I can send to the policestation and do squatting, and video taken and broadcast on new year’s eve.

so right now, i have some people who do not want to talk to me. some people who blocked me off MSN. some people who doesn’t answer my call. and all because of this one fella.
you see ar…. i found out about this asshole doing all this assholic stuff in a bad way actually, and i did it because I smelled something damn fishy lar, and true enough ar, this asshole has been a real asshole all these while. shit!

and so, i cannot try to explain to those ppl who are having bad impression about me. they will wonder how i found out what. so i’m in a situation where i can’t clear my name.

that stupid forking spooon…. “Do your squat! 1! 2! 3!…”

If you are bad, you’ll get shit from Santa

December 17, 2005


literally

wah! i see so many ping ping pings

December 17, 2005

and then i nothing this fat fella ar… keeping pinging and pinging and pinging…

and 3 posts in one day?! wah!!! really got a lot of time at hand.

i envy you alot ler to have so much time…. can even play online games too.
then you talk about ‘fat’. are you fat? if you are, of course lar, stay glued in front of computer and don’t exercise except for your finger. if you are not, i envy you again.

I like your squirky clean layout, and oso your article on banana on crisis, i like it. it shocked me at first- thought got some new medical report on ppl’s manhood.

then i saw your link. are you trying hard to be the malaysian version of rockson ar? get that impression from reading some of your post. but rockson is really raw and really rock wor. how bad can you get ar?

aiya, i like your blog lar. but soli lar. i don’t do link link wan. but do go on writing

bye bye

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Threesome

December 17, 2005

I’ve experience a threeway before

It was back when I was young (yes, everything happens when everyone’s young) when I had a threesome. I went to a club, after accidentally ditching my friends.

It all started with a meetup ‘for some drink’ at some lounge place. It’s a damn cozy place with big sofas and everything. We all were all drinking happily, merrily and when it was about time to go home, I decided to head towards a club instead. It was only after I got myself the stamp on back of my hand at the club, my friend SMS-ed me, asking me where I was. I thought they were about to leave, but the actual fact was that they were just heading towards another cozier sofa… WTF

After telling them that I’d left the place and that they didn’t have to worry about me, I went into this club alone. It was about 2am or something when I entered, and everyone was already pretty high in that club.

I ordered more drinks, and then head towards the dance floor. I just simply couldn’t complete the night without a booty shake I suppose.

While at the dance floor, I began to rub myself against everyone, and everyone was doing the same thing to me. I would considered that as the best ever dance night I had. It wasn’t crowded, but the people decided to make the place crowded, by dancing damnfucking close to each other. And girls were taking off their tops, wearing bikini tops. Guys were removing shirt. I don’t have a good body to show, but I suppose it’s sexy enough to remove the top few buttons of my shirt.

My hands got into a touching mood. And truth is, when you damn high, a touch of the naked flesh is a damn good feeling. I remembered deep-kissing people. I remembered having 2 tougue in my mouth. I remembered seeing my hands disappearing into people’s clothings. I remembered having hands at my bottom, and at my front. I remembered having erection.

And amidst all the flashy lights, I heard a voice, asking me where I’m going tonight. I didn’t remember what I replied. Heck, and the next thing I know, I was being lead out of the club, and I was in a cab with this couple, a guy and a girl. I came to know that both of them were strangers as well, as they were introducing themselves to each other.

We then ended up in this apartment place. We showered together, cleaning each other off.

After the bath, we three went into a room, lost our towels, and kissed.

I remembered the guy watching me and the girl.

I remembered watching the guy with the girl.

Nope, it was never me and the guy.

I came to know that the girl is a lesbo and the guy, heck the guy lar. The girl just broke up, and she mentioned she had so long while forgot how it felt like to be screwed, and furthermore, by 2 diff guy on the same night.

I didn’t really find out if she’d love it though, because she was the first one to leave the very next morning.

A night, to remember, forever.

6th seal back!!

December 15, 2005

yipppeeee!

seal no. 6 is back

oh yea, i’m happy.

why?

because he’s onemotherfuckinglytoocooltobetrue blogger

okkkkkk, so he’s been back almost 3 hari. but still, it’s a happy occasion, just like christmas

Jingly Bell, jingly bell…

San Miguel

December 15, 2005

I discover San Miguel today.

I’m generally not someone who would be adventurous enough to try new beer, but the price’s pretty cheap - RM3.something… a can.

So I bought one, with 2 cans of Carlsberg, to try.

I believed the 2 Greens were giving the odd tin fella one kind of look when I was carry them in the bag.

And my verdict: this Philippines-imported beer is pretty good! Could it be that beer of this region’s that nice too? Afterall, I’ve always like Singha beer (though I’ve not tried the other Thai-beer)

But then again, we have Tiger which sucks like nobody’s business…

What other this-region brands of beer around ar? I wonder…

Oh! oh! I like Tsing tao as well. This China beer is a superbly light one. Very very fond of it, but it’s not a very-easily-available beer, normally can find it at those kopi tiam place lar…

San Miguel, my new love… Carlsberg, don’t be so envy lar. I still love you..but love must be shared right right right?

Paris Hilton Shrine for Christmas

December 11, 2005

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20051209/D8ECV8AG0.html

Some people are really obsessed with PH… Maybe she got this unknown factor about her lar, but to have a shrine for Christmas? A bit too much lor…

KNS

But I wouldn’t mind building a shrine dedicated to Mr Carlsberg and Sir Heinekin, I would have enough bottles if I would have collected all that were thrown away…