We all hate cheaters, hypocrites, masqueraders, backstaber, not-all-truth-saying ppl, and so forth.
Who doesn’t?
The question is, are you yourself guilty of such as well?
I believe in treating back people the way people treats me. I treat people differently depending on who. But it all started off on equal ground. I believe in trusting the very first day met, and slowly, I ‘withdraw’, one after another, and put one item back when it’s rightly to do so…
So, I’m pretty much guilty of whatever that I despise myself. I’ve always tried to be fair, but like mentioned, I’ll treat people the way I was treated… It’s just me, my character…
Take for example. I get to know this fella. Nice chap. But slowly, I’m pretty much drawn to critizing that fella at his back… It’s very bad, but I just can’t help it. That fella was really getting on my nerves every now and then. And soon, I learn that this fella has a tougue so sharp that it cuts deep. I was told that the fella has been talking bad about me all along. So how was it that I took the first step of criticizing him? Well, if he talks behind my back, I wouldn’t know it right? That is when I accidentally overheard what was said…
Call it instinct, concidence or even calling me psychic, I don’t care… The fact remains that, this fella has been talking behind my back, and that’s what I won’t feel guilty of doing wrt that fella…
But of course, I can be wrong; I’m only human. So far, only one fella that I can think of that I think I’ve misunderstood… I’m trying to change myself now, and it’s been more than a year since I tried to change my perception about that fella…
As for girls, I know, I’ve broken 2 hearts terribly… One, was when I was not mature enough to handle relationship. The other, I was not aware of…
Both incidents however, left deep marks in me. I sure hope to remedy the whole situation, but it’s not very possible for many reason…Don’t want to discuss about this…
Let’s talk about ‘now’… I find myself at this crossroad again. I came to know of this fella whom I think isn’t all that honest with me. Perhaps he doesn’t have a good impression of me. Perhaps he’s just a con-artist. Whatever the reason, I’m giving him back the same medicine. It was pretty fun at first, but I think, between that fella and me, we are not all that frank with each other anymore…
Truth is this, I’m doing it, but that does not mean I’m enjoying it. I hate it. I simply hate my own character. I hate to explain to people, that that’s the way I am, because no one really appreciate the way I am. I’ve always come across as someone easy-going. That’s simply when they first know me. When I first know them…
But when time pass, things change. Ppl, including me, change.
In any case… whatever it is.
I’m ranting away and I know…
But this is for sure what I’ll be asking myself: What to do? What am I to do?
